Yesterday was July 4th, the day we Americans celebrate our freedom & our independence.
I have to admit, I am completely guilty of taking the freedom we experience as Americans for granted. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not unpatriotic, but I also would never describe myself as patriotic. I’m not even sure what that all means, up until recently I never gave it much thought. But now that I have given it some thought, all I know is that I am definitely grateful.
I am grateful for so many of the freedoms that we take for granted every day – specifically our freedom of religion. There are so many people around the world who have to worship in hiding for fear of persecution. Not us though, we get to pray right there out in the open if we want & I get to write this post & publish it without fear of armed guards showing up at my door to drag me off to prison.
Though I am incredibly grateful, I can’t help but notice that there is a flaw in our American view of ‘freedom,’ our constant striving for independence. We, as Americans, experience more governmental freedoms than any other country & yet, here we are, struggling day in & day out, bound by the chains of striving for an identity based on independence.
I bet you know exactly what I’m talking about, but if not, let me try to clarify by sharing with you how I began my Fourth of July.
I cleaned out my closest.
Literally & figuratively.
I have bags of clothes I have been holding onto for the last few years. No, I’m not just a hoarder; those bags of clothes actually represent something huge I have been dealing with daily in my life.
You see, I struggle with eating. For a while, I did not eat enough (or almost at all, for a time). Then, for a while, I struggled with eating ‘too much’ (I put quotes around ‘too much’, because ‘too much’ is relative, & my definition of it has shifted over the years as my relationship with food has changed).
I don’t know where it all started. Media may or may not have played a role, that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I have spent years striving for something that culture told me was important. I de-valued myself because I could not meet the world’s standard of perfection. I looked for my value & worth in things that our human understanding promised ‘freedom’ would provide, but I never found it.
I still struggle with food – both extremes. It’s a daily battle, my “thorn in the flesh” if you will.
So you see, sorting through my closet & getting rid of clothes was no small feat. I have done it a little bit at a time, gradually letting go of the teeny-tiny version of me that once existed, but yesterday I let a lot go.
Yesterday, I got rid of a lot of the clothes that I had been using as the definition of what I SHOULD be. My goal for what size I NEEDED to get back to. Not the smallest I had ever been – I have known for a long time that was unhealthy – but definitely not the size I am now. You know, my ‘perfect’ size; an example of what I was sure would make me ‘happy.’
I am sure you are wondering how this all relates to celebrating July 4th, well, let me tell you…
Yesterday, by cleaning out my closet, I got to experience true freedom in a tangible way. As I threw clothes into bags, I felt no self-pity, no condemnation, cried zero tears, & all those sneaky little lies that usually take me captive were easily pushed out of my mind as I reminded myself that I am a daughter of THE King,”fearfully & wonderfully made” “in His image.”
My identity is found in Christ & Christ alone. God sent His one & only son to die for me so that I might live in freedom – freedom that only a relationship with Christ can provide. All my striving can end because my worth & value is found in God’s love for me. My one & only purpose on this earth is to open myself to be used as a holy vessel, set apart by God for His glory.
That’s a heck of a purpose !
I will probably always struggle with eating. Pretty sure God doesn’t mind keeping me humble & certainly does not love me less because of my imperfections.
I may always struggle, but I do not have to live with the bondage of independence anymore.
On Independence Day, I experienced in a tangible way, the true freedom that comes through total dependence. Talk about counter-cultural.
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin & death.” Romans 8: 1-2
Take 10 minutes & check out this video about the awesome love of the one & only God: The Story of God
Wandering but Not Lost 